"His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ "
- Matthew 25:21
As a mother, from the moment you conceive, you will begin to pour yourself, your energy, your resources, your time, your love, your all into this little human. Early on, as a first-time mom, I was shocked by the way caring for another human could be so consuming. In the newborn baby days, I forgot to eat at times, wasn’t sure what I looked like most days, and had toenails that I was embarrassed to show. When I had my second baby, although I had gleaned some tips from round 1, I now had a toddler to care for as well. Any efficiencies I imagined I would have gained were applied to caring for and loving on the new big brother, and preparing snacks and meals, as skipping meals was not an option anymore. I loved the feeling of pouring myself out being Jake and Ellie’s mother. Despite my love for both of them and the feeling of pouring out, many days the nagging thought would pop into my head that told me my efforts were not being fully recognized If I did not squash that thought as soon as it popped up, and instead fed and pet it a little, it wasn’t long before resentment followed.
In motherhood, we have to expect and accept that there will never be a full recognition of the things we do for our people, by our people. If you are a loving and attentive mother, your little people will have the beautiful blessed privilege of taking that love for granted to some degree. Don’t we as God's children take His love for granted? He is a Good Father, so we take some of the things He gives us for granted, like breathing His air with the lungs He made us, because we have this given to us most days and it becomes normal, expected, a given. And how does God treat the ungrateful? He is kind to the ungrateful. In Isaiah 6:35 God says “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.” If this is the grace we are told to extend to our enemies, how much more so to our family?
It is nice to have someone notice the things you are doing, the time you spend on those around you, and not yourself, but who’s “Well done” are you working for? I can tell I have lost sight of this when my husband gets home from work and I start to recount all the things I did that day, along with what I did not find time to do for myself. Do I truly need my husband to know what I did for him and the kids that day, and at what personal cost? God sees everything, including my heart. Even if the house looks like I did not do much of anything, God sees every spill I cleaned up and every botched loaf of bread I attempted. Nothing done in faith is ever wasted. God requires us to be faithful, but the results are His. He does not require us to be successful in our own eyes, or the eyes of others. Everything we do unto Him creates eternal value, and this value does not depend one bit on who notices, who thanks us, or who reciprocates in the way we would like.
Rest in the knowledge that every moment we spend trying to bless others is valuable to the God who sees (El Roi), and keep being faithful, diaper after diaper. Bless your people freely, without guilting them, fishing for compliments, or saddling them with constant expectations of how you would like gratitude expressed. In addition, I often have found when I am not being grabby and impatient about trying to get the "thank you's", I often end up seeing how the people in my home do appreciate a lot of the things that I fretted would be unnoticed. This shift as you remember who you are ultimately doing all things for will create a home that truly feels like a blessing.
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